Best Podcasts of 2019 (Must Listen)

Hello all fans,

The best podcast I have discovered without a doubt is the I HAD AN IDEA Podcast.  It is these two guys discussing funny business ideas.  It is super clever and really inspiring.

https://audioboom.com/channels/4991815

 

you can find the podcast on Audioboom as well as apple music and spotify.    They cover cool topics like “What if there was a support line for your pizza?” or “Should old people make money when they are in a Senior Home?”

It is a real gem and I feel this podcast is really on the rise!

Also, I do recommend This American Life and the James Altucher Podcast.

Thank you for all of your support.

-DJ ROBO BISCUIT

Tale: Fruit Center Support

( Imagine a Call center)

A man picks up the phone.

Service Desk Man:  Good Morning!  Thank you for calling fruit center support!  This is Phillip.  How May I help you today?

Customer: Hey Phillip!  I am using my banana here and my friend is telling me I need to get this converted over to an apple.  Can you guys do that for me?

Service Desk Man:  I’m sorry ma’am.  I am afraid that is not a feature.  We are not able to convert your banana into an apple.

Customer: Well why not?!  I want it to do this!  This is time sensitive too.  It is really important that I get this banana turned into an apple as quickly as possible!

Service Desk Man:  Are you sure that your friend was not talking about apple slices or maybe apple sauce?

Customer: Yes!  I am 100% sure!  I need this banana converted into an apple!

Service Desk Man: I’m sorry ma’am. But it is not designed to do that.  We can’t convert the banana into an apple for you.

Customer: Okay! Well then I need to speak to your manager.

(The customer gets sent over to the manager and the customer complains)

Service Desk Manager:  We are so sorry for all of the trouble ma’am.  We are going to create an escalation request for your need to convert this banana to an apple.   Someone from our team will reach out to you with the next steps.

( 4 days pass by )

ring ring ring!

Service Desk Man:  Fruit center support!  This is Phillip!

Customer:  It has been 4 days and I have not heard from anybody!  I really need your team to get this banana turned into an apple.

(The Service Desk Man reads over the notes of the Escalation ticket on his screen)

Service Desk Man: I am very sorry ma’am but based on the notes here on your escalation ticket I only have bad news.  Our team has come to the conclusion that there is no way to convert your banana into an apple.  The only workaround is to purchase an apple.

Customer (yelling):  This is crazy!  What do I even pay you guys for?!?!    (customer slams the phone down)

( Customer then sends an angry email to their fruit sales rep and the fruit sales rep apologized profusely and waved the cost of their fruit.)

END OF STORY

 

(This story is based on true events)

Feel free to share with your friends, especially any of the ones who work in call centers!

Corporate Man (March 25th)

I drive to work.

I am prepared to represent the corporation.

I must prepare to work in a pleasant and courteous manner.

What is paramount is the customer.  I am obsessed about the customer.  It is vital to the survival of the company that the customer is satisfied.

I am prepared to seek out new customers.

I must maintain and pleasant and courteous manner.

I must not lose my cool.  I must not fall asleep.  I must self-motivate.  I must go above and beyond in my work.

I shall respond to emails in a quick and timely manner.

The customer must be satisfied.

No matter if they are mean or rude, I shall be pleasant.

I am a fortress of pleasantry.

 

-DJ ROBO BISCUIT, end of entry, March 25th

UnNamed Dave The Final Chapter

“What do you think?”

“Well I can’t make the 90 calls.  It is just too much.  We are annoying the customer too much and burning our bridges.  To call the same people 3 times or more in a day it does not make sense.  We are no longer inside sales, we are just telemarketers.”

The Sales Director was not happy.  “That is where you are wrong.  This is how sales is.  It is a numbers game and you have to be aggressive.  If you don’t want to call people and be persistent then maybe you should consider if sales is for you.”

Dave had more.  “Well I have another question.  Why do you think our sales dried up in December and January?  It seemed like things were going well in October and November.  Was it something external?”

The Sales Director was still pissed.  “No.  It was you reps.  You reps are lazy.  Thinking that you can only make 20 calls and make sales.  Just not doing the work and trying to get by on as little work as possible.”

“So you think it is because everyone here is just not working hard?  Everybody on this sales floor is trying to do as little work as possible?”  Dave asked.

“Yep that is it.” -The Sales Director

 

END OF ENTRY DJ ROBO BISCUIT

UnNamed Dave Final Chapter continued.

The manager returned.

“You need to talk to our Sales Director.”

“Okay.” Said Dave.

Dave got up and walked to the Sales Director’s office and sat down.

The Sales Director was on the phone and hung up.

He looked at Dave.  “Come on in.  Have a seat.”

Dave noticed the Director had started wearing high collars.  He could see there were some strange bumps on the back of his neck.

“I wanted to speak to you.  I know who your manager is.  I just wanted to clear the air and answer any questions you had.”

…

DJ ROBO BISCUIT

Final Chapter Continued

Dave sits down.

The manager sits down.

“I just don’t get it.  I don’t understand why the numbers are so low.”  The manager says and looks at Dave.

“I am going to quit.” Dave says a little bit shakily.

“You are going to quit?”  The manager asks.

“Yes.  The job is just stupid now.  I can not make the 90 calls a day.  We are no longer performing the job of an inside sales rep we are just telemarketing.”  Dave said.

“If you want to quit that is up to you.”  The manager said.

TO BE CONTINUED …

UnNamed Dave – Final Chapter (End)

Dave was working at his desk.  He was excited.  He was having some success.  The customers were interested.  He could feel that sales were about to come in.  He had used his energy to talk to prospects who were more likely to purchase.

But, his call numbers were lower than what they were supposed to be at that certain time of day.  His manager and the Sales Director were expecting 40 calls and Dave only had 20 calls.

He received an email.

“Dave,

These call numbers are not acceptable.  By this time of day there should be 35 calls at a minimum.  I can not understand why your numbers are so low.  We are going to have a meeting later today where we discuss how we will fix this.  I need a written plan from you.  Nevertheless, by the end of the day I should see 90 calls.

Thanks,

Manager.”

Dave read the email.  He was upset.  The organization did not care about the quality of the calls, they only cared about the quantity.  They just wanted to see the number.  Something they could measure and quantify.  Dave sat there and contemplated his life.  He knew he could no longer keep his sanity and continue working at ComboTech.

He used the Company Skype and contacted his manager.  “May I speak to you privately?”

The Manager responded, “Sure.”

Dave’s heart was beating fast.  He thinks that maybe his fight-or-flight response was triggered …

His manager stood up from the desk and moved towards an open meeting room.

TO BE CONTINUED

UnNamed Dave – Part 7 – Dishwashers

Dave was busy calling.  He was trying to make many calls and hit a specific metric of calls.  One of the Sales Directors had told him he needs to make contact with a specific account, the account being Swiss and large.  He was hustling to get in contact but the company was Huge and he was getting bounced around inside his company.

Man on Phone:  Hello, you have reached Power Tools.

Dave:  Hello, I am trying to find a man named Williams.  I think he is a software developer.

Man on Phone:  This is Power Tools, let me transfer you.

(Dave waited)(beep beep music music)

New Man on Phone:  Hello.  Dishwashers!  How may I help you?

Dave:  Hello.  I am trying to find a man by the name of Williams.  He is a software developer in your company.

New Man on Phone:  You do know that this is Dishwashers correct?  We don’t make software in this department.

Dave:  Yes.  But I am trying to find a man by the name of Williams.  He is using some software from my company and I need to track this man down.

New Man on Phone:  Okay.  I am going to transfer you to Power Tools.

Dave:  No!  They transferred me to you.

New Man on Phone:  Okay.  Okay.  Williams you say?  Let me look that name up.

(tap tap tap keyboard sound)

New Man on Phone:  Okay.  There is a Williams in the USA actually.  Here is the number.

(Dave took down the number)

Dave:  Thank you sir.  (Hang up phone)

Dave dialed the number.  It was ringing.  It rang five times and went to voicemail.

New New Man on Phone voice:  Hello there.  You have reached Frank Williams at Facility Maintenance.  Please leave me a message and I will return your call when I get a chance.  Thank you.

Frank Williams sounded to be a man with a thick accent.  Dave did not want to judge this man by his voice but he had a feeling that he was not a software developer.

Dave let out a small sigh.  “20 minutes of work to find a facility maintenance man in the USA.  Not helpful.” Dave thought.

Dave still had many calls to make.

(END OF ENTRY, DJ ROBO BISCUIT)

UnNamed Dave – The Story continues

The workers gather in the Glass Room.

The Sales Director began to speak, “Alright I hope everyone enjoyed their cookie.  There have been some changes happening and we want to reward you for your hard work.  These changes are good changes and it will lead to more money in your pocket.”

The other Sales Director spoke up, “Come on guys.  Let’s have fun with it.”

The Sales Director said “We have money for Steve and we have money for Diamo.  Good job on hitting those numbers.”

The room clapped as the two workers received some cash money.

The meeting then took a slightly darker turn.

“Now we have some changes happening.  We don’t need anybody with a negative attitude okay?  There is nothing worse than somebody on a team with a negative attitude bringing the whole team down.  These changes are going to be positive and if you are going to be down in the dumps then it’s not going to work.  Come to work and put a smile on your face!”

Dave was thinking to himself:  I guess they think morale is down because we are unhappy people.  There is no way it is the leadership, right?  It is easier for them if they give us cookies and just tell us to be happy.

The Sales Director continued, “Okay.  Great work everybody so let’s get back on those phones and sell something.  I know we all want that cash!”

The workers exited the GlassRoom and moved towards the desks.

END OF ENTRY, DJ ROBO BISCUIT

UnNamed Dave Part 6 – Company Big Team Meeting

Dave was working.  He was at his desk.  He was calling and emailing.  He was focused.  He had got his coffee from the coffee machine.  He had walked from the machine back to his desk.  He pointed at his friend along the way.  He had sat down at his desk and after about 5 minutes he got his mind back into the “flow” of work.

It was 2:30PM in the afternoon.  It was a slower part of the day.  Some of his fellow employees were working frantically to try to improve their numbers in order to hit their metric with the sole and only goal of not being harassed or pointed out by their manager.  You would think an organization would be more focused on meaningful work but alas the organization known as ComboTech was only truly interested in the appearance of productivity.

The Sales Director made an appearance.  He had left his office and was moving around.  People looked at him but made sure to look at their screens and give the appearance that they were working very hard.  They knew deep inside that he thought they were “lazy” and that the company was not doing well due to their laziness (it could not be a lack of leadership).

People were standing up from their cubes and moving towards the coffee machine area.  Dave was a little suspicious but he had seen cookies earlier.

As his coworkers stood up, he glanced at them and they also looked at him.  There was nervousness in the air.  The company morale was down.

Dave walked next to his friend Jeff.

As the workforce moved towards the cookies the Sales Director said “Everybody grab a cookie.”  His words were always kind of slurred for some odd reason.

Dave moved close to Jeff and whispered, “It was nice knowing you.  I guess this is the end for all of us.”

Jeff smiled and looked back at Dave, “See you on the unemployment line.”

The Sales Director looked around, “Alright everybody got a cookie?  Okay.  Into this room.”

The workforce moved as one, unsure if it would be their demise.

-End of Entry, DJ ROBO BISCUIT